Her Man, My boo Pt. Cinco

Looking in the mirror, I looked flushed. Up until that time, truth be told, I hadn't even experienced oral sex or an orgasm. This was new to me and I liked it. I brushed up on my juicy lips with my favorite Victoria's Secret "peppermint" lip gloss and checked my , what used to be curls.  Ok here I go. I walked back out and they wee announcing Queen and King. I should have ran, but wth the two jobs I had, there was no way I could attend any meetings.
And your class of 2005 prom Queen is......(drum-roll)

Keisha Gray!

Good for her but I was looking for my date so we could bounce. I was ready to experiment. I mean what was all this hype that Judy boasted about almost everyday.

"Latrisha, OMG I'm sprung! The D was soooo good last night! That nigga stood me up and was...."
"Ugh, I don't wanna hear that shit",  I would playfully say.

Not to mention the situation, I had just experienced. I was ready to get that same sensation I had received moments ago. Just then, the principal got on the P.A.

"Attention class of 2005, prom is now over. I hope you have enjoyed yourself. See you guys for graduation practice tomorrow and be on time. Remember, no drinking and be responsible tonight. Goodnight".
Everyone smirked because that night was our night and we were gonna do just the opposite. We were gonna drink and be very irresponsible. I was planning on being naughty that night too.

"Hey gorgeous, u ready?" Asked my date.
"Yep, lets bounce", I said.
"Cool, you hungry? Everybody bout to hit the shrimp joint up",he stated.
"Aight", I replied.

As we walked past, I could hear the many, "Girl your dress is so pretty", "Trish you killing 'em tonight", or my favorite "the baddest bitch leaving the building".

Hand in hand we exited the building towards our rented baby blue 2005 Dodge Charger on 22" chrome wheels. His dad specialty ordered it all the way from North Carolina because he knew that was my favorite color. He opened the door for me and then he proceeded to get in. He slid in the Young Jeezy, Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101, turnt it all the way up, let the windows down and we rode off on them lames.When we arrived at Down Under, the parking lot was packed so there was no parking spaces. After about 15 minutes of driving, we finally found a spot. He parked and before we got out I asked for a kiss.

"Can I get a kiss?", I asked

He leaned over and we tonged kiss. I felt nothing. Where was the wetness between my legs? Where was that tingling sensation? As we exited the car, all I could think about was that damn boy at prom.
TO BE CONTINUED....

Her Man, My Boo pt. 4

Wtf! I'm thinking. I gave Judy the worst look ever. She knew she could have drove that  piece of shit Buick to the gas station. Against my better judgment, we all hoped in, squished and all. I looked out the window so that I wouldn't have to  face this stank breath Ginuwine wannabe mofo who just kept blowing cigarette smoke my way. I could have punched him right between his eyes. Just then my babe called.

"Hey babe", I said excitedly
 Now let me tell you about my boo. I met him at my high school prom and he was on prom with someone else. It just so happen we both wore the same colors: orange. He kept looking at me from time to time. I would glance over once in a while to give him a piercing look as to say ."What the hell were you looking for and at?". He was there with Porsha, if our class had a award for girl with the weirdest shaped body, it would have went to her. Imagine Buffy the Body upside down. Anyhow, I decided to go to the dance floor when Juvenile's "back that thang up"song came on. I didn't have much but you couldn't tell me nothing. I went straight to the middle, and started doing my thing! By then, everybody started getting crump. The dance floor started getting packed, and I decided to go get me a drink.

On the side of me I heard "copycat".

"Say what?", I said

"Dang lil mama, whats up with the attitude"?, he said

First off, Trish? a copycat? Ha! never that. I set trends, now that I was looking around, I saw a few chicks rocking a hairstyle I had a month prior.

"what you talking about?", I damn near hollered
"You wearing my colors", he stated.
"Boy bye, I been had my color and dress months ago", I said as a matter of fact

"It's all good, you look good though", he said.
"Thanks", I smiled

"You gone save me a dance?", he asked
"I gotcha", I said and walked away as Kanye's "Golddiggr" came on

NOW I AINT SAYIN SHE A GOLDIGGER, BUT SHE AIN'T MESSING WITH A  BROKE NINJA
GET THAT DOWN GIRL GONE HEAD GET DOWN......

He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the side and kissed me right there.He pressed his wood on me and wow for the first time ever in my whole life, I felt a wetness between my legs. I pulled away and walked to the bathroom. I had to collect myself
TO BE CONTINUED,,,,,

Her man, My boo Pt.3

He laughed but I saw nothing funny.

"You know what, gimme your number and I can bring it to you". he said.  GAME!

"Why do you need my number when your standing right here", I said.

He smiled. His smile drove me to smile. There he stood with his 6'3 solid frame looking good as always. I mean I didn't want him, but I could definitely  appreciate this chocolate brother.

"What you smiling at?", he asked.
With my head slightly tilted to the side, "Nothing", I replied.
 He smiled again. The more I looked at him, the more I noticed how good looking this man was.

"Whats your name?", he asked.
Did he just ask me what my name was? I wore a name tag every-time he saw me. So this whole time he wasn't really paying attention to me? Now even though I had a boo, this bothered me. How could he not notice these 36C juicy tits and this size 9 ass. Not to mention my piercing hazel eyes.

"Trish", I said almost as a question as if he should know.

"Girl you ready?", Judy asked

"Want me to take you home?", he asked

My girls looked at me, seemed like everybody looked at me. They knew damn well I wasn't about to let this stranger take me home.

"I don't even know you", I said sarcastically

Just like a typical Chicago dude he replied saying. "But you can get to know me".

Dude, seriously get the hell on I thought to myself. I laughed to myself and the girls and I walked on past. He stepped closer to me and I brushed past him, but not before I smelled his good smelling ass. See I'm a sucker for a good smelling man and he was on point. I looked back at him and he held his phone up, I knew what that meant but I was a good girl. No cheating! We got to the car and what luck we had, we were on a flat. Dammit I thought, I was ready to go. My girl called her Tuesday boo that didn't live to far from where we were. The bastard didn't answer. I was going to call my baby, but I knew he was working the overnight shift so he was out the question.

Beep ,beep!!

"Y'all need a jump or something?", someone yelled.

We turn to look and it was, of course HIM.

"Naw, we need some air", Tina replied

"OK, I got y'all", he said

I'm thinking how you got us and you got three of your guys with you and its three of us. I damn sure wasn't gone sit on the west-side of Chicago at midnight with crack fiends walking up to the window asking for change. It was just not happening. I suggested Judy just ride on the flat to the gas station but she was opposed to that idea.After one of his friends took the tire off and put it in the trunk, we were off . This night couldn't get any crazier. It turned out to be just the beginning of our night and boy was it a night.
TO BE CONTINUED

Her man, My boo PT. 2

Soooo like really? Did he really just pull off? Pissed, I just left work that day to meet the girls at Chilis. Normally something like this wouldn’t have bothered me BUT I felt like he was messing with my money. Yes, I didn’t know the dude but why would he choose this damn week not to give me the tip? By the time he came back my birthday would be over! “Hey!”  My big booty Judy yelled. What did this wench want? It bet not have been about letting her borrow $10 for her meal, hell it was my birthday week.  Anyhow, we enjoyed dinner and it was $5 long island day so we got nice and toasted before we headed to the local bar to wind down and celebrate day 1 of my birthday weekend. We walked in and the music was banging. It was about 11 p.m and the drinks were flowing.  Suddenly, the neighborhood hoe train got on the dance floor when T-pain and Lil Jon’s “Lemme see that booty” came on. This chick was so busted. Stayed with a different color 27 piece, nails to damn long where I know she didn’t wipe her ass good. Ass hanging out her too little dress and heels I know she got from Chernin’s $9.99 sale rack. Now see, I’m no hater of girls because I like girls but this chick I wouldn’t touch with somebody else hands.  I was ready to go because she was being extra thirsty with every dude in the bar. My girls were pretty over what seemed to be an older crowd anyway. We walked outside and bam right there was that damn Chrysler 300. Instantly I started looking around for him. Was he in that bar and I just didn’t see him? Just then I saw little Ms. Thirsty come out and sweating.

 “Girl I’m wasted, 'dem ninjas in there got bread; I’m going home with one of them tonight”. What a bust-down. The girls and I headed to the car.  “Yooo, I’m bout to go grab me a Philly steak, meet me at the spot”. That voice was familiar. I turned, and there stood the mofo who had pissed me off the day before. He saw me and said “You followed me to get your dub huh?”  “No”, I said. “You followed me to give me my dub” TO BE CONTINUED

Muffin Tops

Ok, Ladies and gentlemen! What I can't stand or get with is muffin tops!! ugh!You know the ones that got all that extra flowing cake batter over their pants top!The ones who even if they don't own a mirror can look down at themselves. Then why must the shirts be soooo tight that I see every mountain and peak? Now I'm no model figure chick but you will never ever see that on me. Then they swear they be the ish! I just saw a chick on my fb page and that moved me to write this. Her middle name caption was "sexyalloverme"!Now, I'm all confidence but baaaabaayy. Like really? where? I am so not a mean person but ladies and some of you men really need to glance twice before you leave the house. There is nothing wrong with a lil extra comfort around the body. In fact I love some meat BUT please we don't wanna see it in that smedium shirt. ok? #ControlIt #ContainIt #thatisall

Her man, My boo

“Gotta get in the shower to make sure I’m clean and ready for this man’s lovn’. How did I get so wrapped up in this man who doesn’t belong to me?  How could that dumb woman keep up with her bullsh*t? I mean they always say “well if you would’ve been taking care of your man, he wouldn’t be over here”, well see that’s not the case here. See my boo says his little wo-mannn does everything in the book imaginable to him but she nags and nags. See I holds my boo down. I cook, cut toenails, wear what he wants me to wear and not to mention he says I’m the best he’s ever had in bed. OK. I know what you may be thinking but he says he’ll be mine full-time because he doesn’t know how long he can take her and her shenanigans’. See it all started summer of ’05 when I worked at the car wash. He would come in every week in his brand new 2004 Chrysler 300. I never noticed him because I had a boyfriend I had been dating for 3 years, so any dude that came at me, I shut them down real quick. I only noticed he came in every week because he would always leave me a $20 tip. Hmmmm- what was that about I thought to myself…he must’ve been some type of big time drug dude around the way but of course I could never go out with somebody like that!!  I remember the day like it was yesterday, 3 days b4 my bday and I was humping! Saw the fit and heels I wanted for my 21^st birthday and I had a quota that day. I wanted to make $300. It was kinda slow that day maybe because it was like 85 degrees outside and the dudes that did roll through tried to holla but left no tip!! I had 1 hour before my shift was over so I said eff it, I’ll try to make up for my lost the next day. Just then HE rolled through.  I had $120, so I figured hey what the hell I’ll leave with almost half of what I need after he gives me my $20 tip…. I dried his car off and cleaned the inside all nice and clean. I even threw in a free black ice air freshener.   When I was done, I called his number and gave him his keys. He simply got in and drove off. Wait a sec! wtf?!  To be continued…….

The Jones's

What I wanna know is who the hell the Jones’s is and why everybody trying to keep up with them.  If all the Jones’s got is every pair of Jordans and every new winter pelle pelle then the Jones’s aint ish! If the Jones’s are in constant competiton with their friends and family with who got the best 27 piece or keep the freshest micros then the Jones’s aint ish! If the Jones’s  lie about how they get they money(you really gotta sleep with the dude to get that that $100 you claim for your son but really for you) then the Jones’s aint ish! If the Jones’s be in fake relationships when you know dude messing with Shante and Jasmine and still call him your man and say them girls stalkers but you secretly going to their page to keep up with their fb status then the Jones’s aint ish! If the Jones’s coming outside fly, hair done, nails done, screwbacks in their ear and they walking  out of mom’s crib and they over the age of 20 then  the Jones’s aint ish! BUT now if the Jones’s wanna give up they old stuff, I’ll gladly take it and go to a neighborhood mofo’s don’t knw bout the Jones’s and then it’ll be KEEPING UP WITH THE BIGBODY (headass)